Valentine's Day... Hmmm

Good morning all.  I decided this morning, after a week of proposal Hell unlike I have ever experienced before, to throw my music on random and take a few minutes to discuss the event that is Valentine's Day.

Wow, Valentine's Day...  brings back so many painful memories.  As some, but not all,may know, I didn't kiss a girl who was not a family member until I was 17.  I have been over my late bloomer status before and although I do love an almost daily bout with self pity, I will spare you more.  Where I am going with this is simple.  Valentine's Day has had more negative feelings attached to it over the span of my life than positive.

I am sure many, if not all of you, had some sort of Valentine's Day commemoration or celebration in elementary school.  In our school, we used to have to make Valentine's for whomever we liked and everyone would have a little lunch bag decorated for the event on the back of their chair and the people in the class would wander around and place Valentine's they had written in the bags of those they wished.  I think my personal best was three one year.  (Two came from the Dossou sisters who were from Namibia or someplace like that and gave them to everyone.  Incidentally, they were also the people I would have as dancing partners when we had the dreadful square dancing segment in gym.  For a 7 year old, square dancing with someone who does not speak English at all and thinks square dancing is some sort of bizarre white man sacrificial rite is a harrowing experience that never goes away.  They were very nice sweet girls, but it took a few years before I figured that out.)  The third I got usually came from the new kid in school who hadn't learned I was the Pariah yet.  This was the pattern for my formative years.  But every year I would hope I would get one from Tracey Corpuz or Nicole Murchland.  Alas, I would watch as Timmy McKenna and Stefan Shilgalis backed up a dump truck for their accumulated wealth of heart felt pre-teen bliss in the shape of Valentine's cards and those little nasty chalk heart candies that were wrought with misspellings.

In spite of this, I would still hope...  That continued for a long long time. So, 23 years later, after very few happy Valentine's Days, I meet Leah.  Where to begin?  Leah is unlike anyone I have ever met. She abhors "Hallmark" holidays...  (Valentine's Day, Amalaguena (The Spanish Jew Feast Day, etc.) Yet, she lives to watch movies so emotional that she can't see the last half hour through the tears that have taken over her eyes.  She can't handle compliments and open, focused shows of romance and affection make her feel uncomfortable. For someone who lives for the big production of events such as this and birthdays etc.  this has always been difficult for me.  I don't want to annoy her with the affection that I heap on her, but at the same time I want to heap.

So, babe, this year I have decided, screw you, I am giving you what I want to give you, and through this post, maybe you can see why I want to show you how I feel.  Simply put, it is because you deserve it.  Who you are and what you have become deserves to be celebrated and I am just the sap to do it.

Leah, you amaze me.  You are such a work of contradictions you are like a Pollock painting.  Beauty within pain and intricacy.  You laugh easy and yet have had so many reasons to never laugh again.  You love to be crude and yet you hate bad manners.  You have the mouth of a drunken sailor and yet you truly love words and language and savor both. You have cried at Les Miserables and you have been stoned at a Phish show. You love expensive fine wine and Miller Lite in a can. You are the true definition of beauty inside and out.  I love you and love the family you are helping me build. I would be lost without you.  Anyone who has seen me over the last ten years knows that is no embellished statement. Happy Valentine's Day.